Positivity Breeds Positivity
"I Am Worthy" by Eleatta Diver
Prints of "I Am Worthy" are available here.
Self-Care Begins with Self-Talk
Positivity breeds positivity
In this era of Covid 19, we are entrenched in challenging times. We’re feeling the strain and we’re understanding the notion of taking care of ourselves is no longer a casual consideration, but an absolute requirement for keeping ourselves glued together.
The most effective practice of self care best begins with an evaluation of our self talk. The way we speak to ourselves can either fortify or sabotage our psyche.
Our Inner Critic
We all have an inner critic, but it’s how we choose to live with the critic's voice that determines our quality of life.
There are times this little murmur can be helpful and keep us focused on our goals—such as when it reminds us that what we're about to stuff into our mouth probably isn't the healthiest choice or what we're about to do might be something we really regret tomorrow morning!
Shame: We all have it. It's that gremlin that says 'I'm not enough.' Or, if you're feeling pretty confident,...'ooh, who do you think you are?' Shame always has a seat. Brene Brown
Learn to listen
Learning to listen and discern the intent of our inner thoughts helps us sort and use the positive messages and bridle those that are detrimental .
The average person
Most folks have about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. A whopping 80% are negative; inane repetitive thoughts fill 95%! The National Science Foundation affirm negative thoughts are mostly useless and only create imaginary of drama in your mind.
Negative thinking blows everything out of proportion. Once our minds are 'tattooed' with negative thinking, our chances for long-term success diminish. John Maxwell
You're not so sure?
If you’re not sure if you're focusing mostly on the negative, here’s some questions you can ask yourself.
Check and See:
Do you amplify the negative?
Do you tend to amplify negative aspects of a situation and sift out all of the positive ones? For example, you had a great day. You crossed through almost everything on your to-do list. But that evening, you can only focus on the two tasks you didn’t get to complete.
Here's a HOW-TO:
How to stop amplifying the negative.
Do you make things personal?
Do you automatically blame yourself when something bad happens? For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
Here's a HOW-TO:
How to stop taking things so personally.
Do you assume the worst?
Do you anticipate the worst? For example, when you can’t find your keys and then hit every red light on the way to work, do you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster?
Here's a HOW TO:
How to stop assuming the worse.
Do you think in all or nothing terms?
Do you see things only as being either totally awful or fabulously wonderful? For you, there is no middle ground. Do you feel that you have to be perfect at something or else you're a complete failure?
Here's a HOW -TO:
How to stop 'all or nothing' thinking.
Becoming self-aware helps you find root sources of negative thoughts. And then it’s much more possible to retrain and redirect your conclusions.
Do these exercises:
Make a list - on paper or screen. Be brave. Do an honest brain-dump of every negative thought you have.
Take a dive and look a little deeper. Write about things you fear happening.
Write about things that make you feel insecure. Write about things that make you feel stressed regularly.
Write about things that irritate you about other people.
Organize your thoughts. Make a column or a separate list. Pair every negative thought with at least one corresponding positive thought.
Here’s an example
In itemizing something in which you’ve had a fear of failing, cite one instance when failure actually helped you be able to learn a valuable lesson or skill.
Redirect the negativity
Doing this type of evaluation is the best way to begin redirecting the negativity train running through your brain. In beginning to counter balance with positives you become the engineer driving the train of your thoughts, rather than a frazzled passenger hanging onto the railing of the caboose.
Practice makes positivity
With practice, you’ll be on your way to a more positive approach to life, and improved over all well-being. For further reading on this positivity connection, see these resources below:
Better cardiovascular health
Better coping skills
Lower rates of depression
Lower levels of distress
Improves imune system
Planning for Positivity
The process of shifting negativity to positivity is simple, but it does take time - and practice. Here are some additional ideas to help you think and behave in a more optimistic way.
1.) Identify areas to change.
Identify areas of your life that you usually find yourself thinking negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a particular relationship. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.
2.) Check in with yourself
During the day, stop and pay attention to what you're thinking. If you find your thoughts are mostly negative, find a way to redirect those thoughts. Put a positive twist on them and make them go in a better direction.
3.) Be open to humor
Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
4.) Surround yourself with positive people
As you begin reconditioning your train of thoughts, make sure the people in your life are positive and supportive. Being around negative people can sabotage your efforts to create new positive thought patterns.
5.) Be a friend to yourself
Be gentle and encouraging. Make a decision to speak to yourself like you would talk to a cherished friend.
6.) Your thoughts form your days
You owe it to yourself to improve your days by improving the quality of your thoughts.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” — Lao Tzu
I am here cheering you on. We're in this thing called, LIFE, together. Let's do all we can to cherish it, to appreciate one another and to value ourselves.
Comment below and let me know how it goes.