Day 3 in my 100 Day Project illustrating the work of Brene Brown.
Today’s sketch depicts Brown’s insight, ‘Fear, a sense of shame and the dread of vulnerability are tripple choke holds.’
Fearing what people think causes paralysis. Internalizing that fear causes it to germinate into shame. Then, as we struggle to get free, we gasp for fresh air through vulnerability. But in facing the cold reality of vulnerability, we choke. We lose our power.
But, perhaps things might be different if we took care to surround ourselves with just afew ( read VERY few) close confidants. It’s when we open our gate. unrestricted, that causes most difficulties.
We have friends. But it’s the wise person who knows how to carefully pluck out the one or two ‘tried and true’ that would move heaven and earth to be with you, sit with you, cry with you and believe in you when all life is imploding. They have the grit to be comfortable in the midst of messy. They have the insight to know when to listen, when to speak, and when to kick us in the butt to get us back on the right track.
I had to learn this lesson the hard way. There’s few pains as piercing as that of a friend’s betrayal of a confidance. But, it was a good teacher. I saw the importance of keeping a vigilant limit on those that I brought back to my ‘messiest back closet.’
As one who values quality relationships, I now know that that inner sanctum should be extreemly limited. I love Brene Brown’s habit of keeping the names of the ‘few chosen ones’ on a small piece of paper in her purse. It reminds her to be thankful for them. It keeps her boundaries defined. It prompts her to recognize THOSE are the voices that matter most, because you know they have your back. THOSE are the opinions that matter. THOSE are the ones with the feed-back that can leterally ‘feed’you.
I am blessed to have 3 of these special people in my life. I know that at any time, they’s catch me when I was falling. They’s let me scream and kick without judgement. They’d listen quietly. They’s give sound advice when I was ready to hear.
What about you? Do you have one or two…or three of these people? What was the process through which you ‘knew’ they were to be in your circle of safety?
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